aching heart

it doesn’t matter how hard you try to find someone

to soothe your aching heart

it only matters that you push away the one

that broke it all apart


maybe i couldn’t admit that i had made a mistake

out of fear- fucking fear

but now that i’m fully awake

things are much too clear


and now you’re spotted with him

dancing in a field of bloodflowers

your arms tangled around him like barbed wire

and both of your lips smothered with sin


and my eyes are forced to watch through a television screen

i’ve been crying so long that my eyes are bleeding

but that’s not a story you’d get

from your average librarian who smells like death and cigarettes


my poetry has transformed into riddles

my spine has made me wilt like a winter rose

you better believe i’m that monkey in the middle

who craves for what the other two are just given to hold


hang me like christmas decoration

trap me in a snowglobe

December is just another word for permenant vacation

and you’re just a word i’ll never know






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