antidote

I like the relief in comfort so I cling.

It’s really a simple thing.

I wasn’t given enough love and all that pathetic stuff.

So I thought love was suffering.

 

So when you came along with arms made for hugs-

I soon found out there’s also hurt in that tongue.

And you would speak lies, pretty lies- sad lies.

They’re all the same in my eyes.

 

But you were telling them to her too.

My lies weren’t special lies- unique to fit me.

You used the same fucking ones, didn’t care enough to make mine new.

But I tried to crawl back..why? Because I was suffering.

 

And it was funny! And different!

You were the dark that made me grateful for light.

Because-I wasn’t the one hurting myself directly!

And you reminded me I still had tears to cry.

 

But did you care- Hah, no.

I had tried to inform you of sorrows that were unknown.

For you, you’re the biggest currency when it comes to wealth.

You were making things up, just because you wanted to talk about yourself.

So I’d push my pain away, be stupid, and stay.

Because I lived for those moments you’d take my breath away.

 

But a day came when I kept waiting.

And those moments never came.

Because you were busy with her-

not knowing you’d soon  be explaining your shame.

 

God, I remember finding out.

My heart’s anchor tugged it to the bottom of my stomach.

I laid my blank face on an empty pillow case and begged to stop hurting.

Like pills too many, I had to start pumping.

 

The truth is hard to come out from your mouth sometimes.

Why I accepted myself to this fate-I don’t know.

It’s beyond us both when we speak of these crimes.

Though, I guess it was both of us -it doesn’t matter anymore.

 

Those days of bliss ended so quick.

So why are they so hard to let go?

If you’re sick

you’ll do anything for an antidote.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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