they can’t see change

Mother, things are changing.

I know you’ve seen the chameleon Autumn leaves.

I know like most things I love, they’re thinking of leaving.

I’m watching the wind take them away like a child’s dream.



All that I am -is all that I am not.

All that I was -is still what they see.

I’ve got my vocal chords tied in a noose’s knot.

Maybe it’s time for me to make like a leaf.



Mother, I’m trying to face all the negativity.

People aren’t as educated on the matter at hand.

Dad hasn’t rescheduled therapy.

And I know I’m getting bad again.



People aren’t always people really.

This is one thing I have managed to learn.

They can be monsters and entities that possess your feelings.

Or the tenderness that somehow makes your throat burn.


I’m rambling, I know- but if I don’t let these emotions go

I know they’ll take over my body and drain me of my self-esteem

And that process is painfully slow

Not to mention, I can’t just fill myself back up with gasoline-

And expect that I can run on that alone.


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